Butter Face...

Do you give people names?? ‘Cause we do!!

Have you ever been out somewhere and seen someone that just screams for a descriptive name? Well, no matter where we go we see these people. They can range from “Blonde Chick” or  “Mohawk Guy” to “ Sweaty Skank” or “Ginger McSmells-A-Lot.” We like to have fun with it. Now, don’t think we’re just total bitches and give all negative names. They aren’t! Okay, a lot are, but there's a fair share of “Little miss thinks she’s hot” and  “Captain I’d do him”.

 We base our names mainly on first impression appearances, but sometimes it’s something this person is doing, how much we do or do not like them, or just all around aura. We’ve all seen that guy that screams “serial killer” (Senor Kill You In Your Sleep) or the chick radiating “I enjoy having frequent and unprotected sex with strange men that I’ve just met” (aka “Molly McDaddy-Issues!”)

As I’m sure you can tell, they are often quite obvious, literal interpretations of our observations. Some, however, are in depth descriptions or inside stories between Laur and I that no one would understand because, hell, half the time we cant even remember how it came to be!! For example we are having a difficult time remembering them now because they have become such a frequent part of our vocabulary that they are standard.  Hmm..."Irish Vin Diesel" (Thats a positive one, trust us), "Beach Ball", and "Chin" amongst many, many others.

People-watching is one of the most fun and entertaining activities there is, and adding these names can be a useful technique when you have reoccurring sightings (a neighbor that has no problem discussing their very private, embarrassing, and downright outrageous business on their front deck for anyone to hear...)  For example, “Hey, Laur, you’ll never guess what Crackhead McGee over there was just yelling about!!” or “Little Oprah just ate face off the step outside”.  When these names are used we get the visual cue, there is no confusion.

So give it a shot folks! It’s a great way to pass time, differentiate your crazy ass neighbors or passers by in your life, or just sneakily tell your friends about the creeper at five o'clock the bar!! If you’re already a connoisseur o’ the fine game of people labeling, what are some of the names you’ve come up with??